The Very Basics , and I mean very basic

Just a few points that I feel need clarification when it comes to a date:
1. You asked me out = you pay

2. You must compliment me in some way. examples: "you're funny or smart", "you smell really great", "you have a great smile or beautiful eyes", etc.

3. You forgot your wallet = I forgot to take my nice pills today :o)

4. Dress appropriately. Do not show up dirty, smelly or sloppy. Brush your hair & teeth, shave, and do not wear jean shorts with white socks pulled up to your knees or flannel of any kind!

5. Open doors for me.

6. Do not over do on the alcohol.

7. Do not expect a good night kiss, hug or even a high five at the end of a first date. And don't ask.

8. Do arrive on time.

9. Do be prepared to talk about your job (yes you must have one).

10. Do NOT talk about your ex-girlfriend (or ex- boyfriend).

Compliments to Make Your Skin Crawl

All "compliments" have been received within the last two weeks and are still making me want to shower with Soft Scrub. Granted, when I was 20, these may have had the desired impact. At 35, I'm jumping in the hot shower.

"Fine as @#$%": Although the male species may construe this to be a compliment, the traditional translation should land the bearer in the scrotum stockade.

"Get freaky"/"Get jiggy": derived from the Latin term "freakus maximus"; a phrase used by men meant to induce sexual activity of a devious nature, which almost always leads to a lack of sexual activity based on the fact that the female can only think about the man who coined the phrase and laugh her butt off.

"Fine @$$ chick": Phrase used by musicians and other immature males used to convey their satisfaction with your physical appearance.

*Definitions*

Hook up: Meeting the first few times were phone numbers, e-mails and smooches were shared.

Booty Call: 1)The occasional late night call (or received call) with a person you have no true intention on having any relationship beyond sex with. 2) A call to just get laid.

Friends with Benefits: A friend you may have known for years or only months that you have a certain sexual attraction to and they reciprocate. You regularly fool around and/or have intercourse with them but never go beyond "friends" status so that you don't "ruin" your friendship.

Keeping Company: You're basically in a relationship but you are not willing to fully acknowledge openly that you are due to not wanting to ruin a possible better offer that may come along.

Relationship: You are exclusive with one person and they reciprocate.

Drunk Dialing: Calling someone while intoxicated in order to get what you want.... basically to get a booty call.

Mom's Best Advice - EVER!

When I started dating my mother gave me some great tid-bits of advice that still rings true to today!
They are:
1) Want a man not need one.
2) If a man gives you a gift or buys you dinner, regardless of cost, all you need to do is say "thank you, there is no need to kiss, sleep with or marry him".
3) Sex doesn't have to happen just at night.
4) Men are dumb jerks, they can't help it.

Welcome

Do you have a certain set of "rules" you live by for dating and or relationships? Here is your place to share them. Sure we may be giving away too much information as to how "we" work but come on who hasn't dated someone that you wished had a clue! Here's our chance to give back to society and hopefully help the hopeless!