I've heard a lot of different ways of "breaking up" with someone. In today's world there's e-mail, text, phone messages (without having to even ring their phone) and so on.
Here are a few simple rules of how to say "thanks it's been fun, bye-bye now" that make it easy to understand why you or the person may be left feeling slighted by the "big kiss off".
Texting: Appropriate after two dates, but no pda's/da's were shared.
E-mail: Appropriate after three dates, but only simple da's were had.
Phone Message: Appropriate after 3 or more dates but less than one months over all time, this applies after only if heavy pda/da's have been had but no home run.
Face to Face or Voice to Voice (not message to message): after naked time has been had regardless of activity and length of time dating.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Dating. Does it mean Sex?
Dating is just what it is dating. You meet a nice person, trade phone numbers, have casual conversations, dinner, dancing and all that great stuff. But does it mean that you need to have sex or that you have had sex with everyone you date. NOOOOOOO.
Dating one or more men at the same time is normal. Dating someone who thinks they're in an exclusive relationship with you is not (we'll discuss that in another post).
But back to dating is just dating. It's the initial stages of meeting someone and going out casually with them. I know woman who get stuck on terms and miss the whole point.
The point... Dating is like Shopping. You have to try on two or three pairs of shoes and compair the heel height, the fashion and which one pinches less. Right? Well it's the same with guys. It doesn't mean you're going to purchase all three pairs. It just means that you have to try on a few different kinds to see which one you like the best. You may purchase two out of the three but then realize you want to take one back or maybe take them both back. This in essence is dating.
With out dating you wont know for sure what you like and what you don't like in men. How do you like to be treated? Can you be with someone shorter or taller than you? Can you stand to date someone who looks like "The Fonz" or "Harry Potter"? And so on. These are things that you may not know until you give it a try.
Now how does sex fit into all of this. It fits by saying if you've met someone you like and you want to have sex then fine have sex. But just because you are dating one or more than one person and you choose to have sex with one or more it doesn't make you a slut, hooch or whatever. Nor does hearing that your girlfriend is dating one or more people mean that she's having sex with all or any of them. Sex is basically an elevation from the dating platform. Once you have sex with one or more it basically means you are more interested in this or these individuals and it begins to narrow down the options you had from your dating pool. It usually elevates an individual from dating to keeping company or friends with benefits. Sex does help change status from dating to keeping company, booty calls or more.
But don't be afraid to date because you think you'll be considered a slut. Being a slut makes you a slut. Not dating.
Dating one or more men at the same time is normal. Dating someone who thinks they're in an exclusive relationship with you is not (we'll discuss that in another post).
But back to dating is just dating. It's the initial stages of meeting someone and going out casually with them. I know woman who get stuck on terms and miss the whole point.
The point... Dating is like Shopping. You have to try on two or three pairs of shoes and compair the heel height, the fashion and which one pinches less. Right? Well it's the same with guys. It doesn't mean you're going to purchase all three pairs. It just means that you have to try on a few different kinds to see which one you like the best. You may purchase two out of the three but then realize you want to take one back or maybe take them both back. This in essence is dating.
With out dating you wont know for sure what you like and what you don't like in men. How do you like to be treated? Can you be with someone shorter or taller than you? Can you stand to date someone who looks like "The Fonz" or "Harry Potter"? And so on. These are things that you may not know until you give it a try.
Now how does sex fit into all of this. It fits by saying if you've met someone you like and you want to have sex then fine have sex. But just because you are dating one or more than one person and you choose to have sex with one or more it doesn't make you a slut, hooch or whatever. Nor does hearing that your girlfriend is dating one or more people mean that she's having sex with all or any of them. Sex is basically an elevation from the dating platform. Once you have sex with one or more it basically means you are more interested in this or these individuals and it begins to narrow down the options you had from your dating pool. It usually elevates an individual from dating to keeping company or friends with benefits. Sex does help change status from dating to keeping company, booty calls or more.
But don't be afraid to date because you think you'll be considered a slut. Being a slut makes you a slut. Not dating.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
The Very Basics , and I mean very basic
Just a few points that I feel need clarification when it comes to a date:
1. You asked me out = you pay
2. You must compliment me in some way. examples: "you're funny or smart", "you smell really great", "you have a great smile or beautiful eyes", etc.
3. You forgot your wallet = I forgot to take my nice pills today :o)
4. Dress appropriately. Do not show up dirty, smelly or sloppy. Brush your hair & teeth, shave, and do not wear jean shorts with white socks pulled up to your knees or flannel of any kind!
5. Open doors for me.
6. Do not over do on the alcohol.
7. Do not expect a good night kiss, hug or even a high five at the end of a first date. And don't ask.
8. Do arrive on time.
9. Do be prepared to talk about your job (yes you must have one).
10. Do NOT talk about your ex-girlfriend (or ex- boyfriend).
1. You asked me out = you pay
2. You must compliment me in some way. examples: "you're funny or smart", "you smell really great", "you have a great smile or beautiful eyes", etc.
3. You forgot your wallet = I forgot to take my nice pills today :o)
4. Dress appropriately. Do not show up dirty, smelly or sloppy. Brush your hair & teeth, shave, and do not wear jean shorts with white socks pulled up to your knees or flannel of any kind!
5. Open doors for me.
6. Do not over do on the alcohol.
7. Do not expect a good night kiss, hug or even a high five at the end of a first date. And don't ask.
8. Do arrive on time.
9. Do be prepared to talk about your job (yes you must have one).
10. Do NOT talk about your ex-girlfriend (or ex- boyfriend).
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Compliments to Make Your Skin Crawl
All "compliments" have been received within the last two weeks and are still making me want to shower with Soft Scrub. Granted, when I was 20, these may have had the desired impact. At 35, I'm jumping in the hot shower.
"Fine as @#$%": Although the male species may construe this to be a compliment, the traditional translation should land the bearer in the scrotum stockade.
"Get freaky"/"Get jiggy": derived from the Latin term "freakus maximus"; a phrase used by men meant to induce sexual activity of a devious nature, which almost always leads to a lack of sexual activity based on the fact that the female can only think about the man who coined the phrase and laugh her butt off.
"Fine @$$ chick": Phrase used by musicians and other immature males used to convey their satisfaction with your physical appearance.
"Fine as @#$%": Although the male species may construe this to be a compliment, the traditional translation should land the bearer in the scrotum stockade.
"Get freaky"/"Get jiggy": derived from the Latin term "freakus maximus"; a phrase used by men meant to induce sexual activity of a devious nature, which almost always leads to a lack of sexual activity based on the fact that the female can only think about the man who coined the phrase and laugh her butt off.
"Fine @$$ chick": Phrase used by musicians and other immature males used to convey their satisfaction with your physical appearance.
*Definitions*
Hook up: Meeting the first few times were phone numbers, e-mails and smooches were shared.
Booty Call: 1)The occasional late night call (or received call) with a person you have no true intention on having any relationship beyond sex with. 2) A call to just get laid.
Friends with Benefits: A friend you may have known for years or only months that you have a certain sexual attraction to and they reciprocate. You regularly fool around and/or have intercourse with them but never go beyond "friends" status so that you don't "ruin" your friendship.
Keeping Company: You're basically in a relationship but you are not willing to fully acknowledge openly that you are due to not wanting to ruin a possible better offer that may come along.
Relationship: You are exclusive with one person and they reciprocate.
Drunk Dialing: Calling someone while intoxicated in order to get what you want.... basically to get a booty call.
Booty Call: 1)The occasional late night call (or received call) with a person you have no true intention on having any relationship beyond sex with. 2) A call to just get laid.
Friends with Benefits: A friend you may have known for years or only months that you have a certain sexual attraction to and they reciprocate. You regularly fool around and/or have intercourse with them but never go beyond "friends" status so that you don't "ruin" your friendship.
Keeping Company: You're basically in a relationship but you are not willing to fully acknowledge openly that you are due to not wanting to ruin a possible better offer that may come along.
Relationship: You are exclusive with one person and they reciprocate.
Drunk Dialing: Calling someone while intoxicated in order to get what you want.... basically to get a booty call.
Mom's Best Advice - EVER!
When I started dating my mother gave me some great tid-bits of advice that still rings true to today!
They are:
1) Want a man not need one.
2) If a man gives you a gift or buys you dinner, regardless of cost, all you need to do is say "thank you, there is no need to kiss, sleep with or marry him".
3) Sex doesn't have to happen just at night.
4) Men are dumb jerks, they can't help it.
They are:
1) Want a man not need one.
2) If a man gives you a gift or buys you dinner, regardless of cost, all you need to do is say "thank you, there is no need to kiss, sleep with or marry him".
3) Sex doesn't have to happen just at night.
4) Men are dumb jerks, they can't help it.
Welcome
Do you have a certain set of "rules" you live by for dating and or relationships? Here is your place to share them. Sure we may be giving away too much information as to how "we" work but come on who hasn't dated someone that you wished had a clue! Here's our chance to give back to society and hopefully help the hopeless!
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